piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize