Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
