i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
