please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
