Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've blown a few things in my day
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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