Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
