D3 body, D1 cock
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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