listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
