I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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