And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
