I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
