I can't watch pbs sober anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
