normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
