i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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