I didn't shave. On purpose
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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