Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Randomize
