She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
