when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
time to smoke my breakfast
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
