I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
