Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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