She announced her abortion via fbk
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
