he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
