yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
