dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
