So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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