he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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