I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
