Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
