what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
