I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
