This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
