toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
