You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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