Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize