one two three fourrrrnication!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
