fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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