I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
be right there i have to get my cape
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
