I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
