You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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