do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize