My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
