Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
