And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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