franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
vagina is talking i cant
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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