Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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