love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize