I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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