There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
