last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
