I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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