if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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