he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
