i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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