They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
