Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
