I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
