I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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