maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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