I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We are all done wearing pants today
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