Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
