was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
