it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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