Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
even my farts smell like vagina
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
