cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
