if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
