New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
