One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
