Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
